Omnivores, if you don’t know, are animals that can eat both grass and meat.
I’ll start by asking some questions:
Humans don’t eat each other… most don’t anyway, so no questions need to be asked there.
We do eat plants and animals though. So let’s ask an animal how it feels about us eating it. While we’re at it let’s ask plants and grains how they feel about us eating them. Also, may as well go the extra mile and ask plants how they feel about animals eating them.
I suppose we could ask water how it feels about us drinking it… and then peeing it out into it… Could also ask water how it feels that plants drink it too. Maybe ask a plant what it thinks water tastes like, or any of the other animals that drink it for that matter. No need to ask ourselves how water tastes…
It’s only fair to ask other animals how they taste to each other and what they think about each other eating each other. That’s fair, right?
Oh yeah, I forgot another player. We should probably ask the sun how it feels about all life on earth feeding off its energy and nutrients. Yeah, that sounds reasonable. I guess we could also ask the sun of its opinions on solar panels. Would it prefer us to use oil as our primary means of energy production? Does oil mind that we use it?!
Yeah, this is so circular and there’s too much permission needed from non-sentient organisms…
I’m an Omnivore because meat tastes fucking good!
Post with 4 notes
1. Put a giant pocket around your bed
2. Move your furniture three inches from the wall.
The first one makes sense. The second one… I doubt bedbugs would have a problem crawling 3 more inches. Here’s my question though. what designer product will they make to go in those 3 inches? I mean you could stick a vibrator in there. Or pesticides, which might cause you health problems but then you go to the Pharmacy to get medication for that. All the while you could just “take a shoe and smack them till they’re ‘black and blue.’”
Post with 456 notes
This question is directed at anyone interested, but specifically anyone at all with an understanding of law who sees this in my news feed
As we all know every employer in America always has you sign a form that states at some point that you understand that they are an “equal opportunity employer who does not discriminate…” With this in mind could there theoretically be a class action lawsuit filed by all the people on facebook, who can’t find work, against any employer who does not hire them based on what they’ve posted on facebook? If they are an equal opportunity employer who does not discriminate, is it in breach of any contract they would have you sign if they choose to not hire you based on your profile activity? Or you get fired because of a picture that you do post?
Post with 1 note
So, many people don’t know this but the male snake’s reproductive organ is not located on the outer part of it’s body. How does it go about procreation you may ask. I will now take the liberty of answering your question having no scientific evidence and having done no research to back up my claim:
The male snake must find a female to its liking. This is the easy part. Now it must court her…It does so by showing superiority against humanity and tricking Eve into eating an Apple. The snake then sings “I got no legs!!! I got no legs!!!”
Alright no more bible references. The male snake is at a disadvantage since it cannot speak and therefore must prove it’s masculinity to the female snake in the most curious manner. It must slither its way into the female’s mouth so that the female can determine whether or not the circumference and diameter of the male snake’s body is worthy of her offspring. This process by the female is called “Deep Throating.”
Next, after carrying out this difficult task of slithering into the female, it must now commence the backwards motion to exit the female through her mouth. It should be be noted that in order to aide the male in his exit of her body, the female goes through a series of contractions where fluid is produced which the male is forced to swallow. FYI The male must slither roughly halfway deep into the female snake’s body to appropriately satisfy the female. This entire process is called “in and out.”
After “in and out” is completed, and if the female is content with the male’s width it is now the female’s turn. She must slither into the male’s body to reach his “tail end.” Upon doing this, since the friction of feeling a female inside him is enough to properly arouse the male, the female must drink the ejaculatory fluid which is happily produced by the male from her journey within him.
It is now time to leave the male, which is a slow process due to the tight squeeze. It is also somewhat uncomfortable and unpleasant for the female as in order to do this the male must produce vomit to help the female to exit successfully from his body.
This is how babies are born. By the way, I’m bone sober.
I took a facebook quiz recently about which Star Wars character I am. Forget about what character I turned up as for now. My question is, why do they ask you “what flavor of ice cream you prefer?” I mean, questions that actually make sense are “how do you treat your friends?” or “what’s more important: money or good and evil?” Of course they ask those but why even bother with your preferred taste in ice cream. My friend Adam explained it to me though and it made sense.
Chocolate= Vader/Han Solo
Vanilla= Luke or Leah (cuz their innocent and vanilla is which resembles purity)
Strawberry= Lando since strawberries are sexy and Lando was suave…
Now it all makes sense… Oh yeah and if you prefer dogs you automatically are Chewie since Wookies from Endore NOT Wookies from Mulduram are fluffy. Very important very important.
